Sad Solstice Season

On the deck of our earth ship, the shade curtains bulge towards me like sails allowing a purifying barely moist seventy four degree breeze. It’s been like this (perfect comforting atmosphere) since returning home from my mom’s passing on the Summer Solstice. Grateful, I allow these airs and graces to soothe the emptiness that cannot be filled. Everything changed with her departure. Nothing changed with her departure. All the cycles flow according to right time and place.

Gardens from above at Sunwise Farm and Sanctuary

Gardens from above at Sunwise Farm and Sanctuary

Arriving home from Arlington the hay had been cut and baled safely in dry weather. The Basil grove showed promise of deluxe dinners. Clary Sage had been offering multitudinous hummingbird feeding stations. The mockingbird had been perfectly set up in the butterfly bush, usually launching from the pea trellis. Food was available immediately, zucchini and tomatoes. Sunflowers had reached our height, flowers to follow soon. we felt so held by the ever-present abundance of Mother Earth.

Lilies and figs, a hay bale in the distance, Garden Shrine of dads Amethyst cluster and mom's Rose Quartz necklace, in the butterfly bath, a bouquet for mom, Basil forest, Gardens from above and Clary Sage at Sunwise Farm and Sanctuary

Lilies and figs, a hay bale in the distance, Garden Shrine of dads Amethyst cluster and mom’s Rose Quartz necklace, in the butterfly bath, a bouquet for mom, Basil forest, Gardens from above and Clary Sage at Sunwise Farm and Sanctuary

Mockingbird headed for Butterfly Bush nest, Delphinium, Sunflowers growing and First Zinnia at Sunwise Farm and Sanctuary

Mockingbird headed for Butterfly Bush nest, Delphinium, Sunflowers growing and First Zinnia at Sunwise Farm and Sanctuary

Drawing of Mom for 90th birthday memory book by Kathleen O'Brien

Drawing of Mom for 90th birthday memory book by Kathleen O’Brien

It was an honor to be with my mom in her last struggling hours even though it was difficult and sad. Back home I couldn’t focus on normal activities. Mom came to the rescue. My grandson had requested the next “Dwarfie” (a Waldorf knitted toy) be a rainbow one. I had found some of mom’s colorful yarn while clearing her room. The two days I sat on the porch in comforting weather knitting it made me feel close to her and one stitch at a time connected her to him.

Rainbow Dwarfie knitted by request for grandson

Rainbow Dwarfie knitted by request for grandson

I returned home with some of her treasures that had been with her in her room until the end: an early watercolor of her with dad and two oil paintings by my grandfather, James H. O’Brien, of young me.

Mom and Dad watercolor 1983 by Kathleen O'Brien, kind of blurry behind glass

Mom and Dad watercolor 1983 by Kathleen O’Brien, kind of blurry behind glass

Me at the beach by grandpa, James H. O'Brien I

Me at the beach by grandpa, James H. O’Brien I

Me with a tear by grandpa, James H. O'Brien I

Me with a tear by grandpa, James H. O’Brien I

Now I am the proud inheritor of her charm bracelet, that embodies her memories of happy travels to so many places, Capri, London and more, these are some of my best memories as well, so it is like a tiny archive of good times. I must have developed my love of beads as a child when she let me look at this treasure.

Mom's charm bracelet, memories from times and places around the world

Mom’s charm bracelet, memories from times and places around the world

Wrens are associated with the Summer Solstice. Our returning wren who we call Brown Betty nested in the cornucopia basket on top of the garden closet. Around this time her offspring fledged. I thought the empty nest was a perfect image for this sad Solstice season.

Brown Betty's Nest

Brown Betty’s Nest